It all started with a conversation with three men of different ages about guns. Sadly, the conversation was not about whether gun possession should be allowed at large or not; it was rather about whether women should be allowed to carry guns.

I started arguing that if anyone should carry a gun, it should be women because they have a greater physical need for a self-defense tool than men. The male attacker is most likely to be of superior physical strength than the female victim, but when a male attacks a fellow male, they stand equal chances of physical overpowering. The game is not as fair when it comes to women, no? So we need something we can use to defend ourselves against potential attacks.

This isn’t about guns at all, mind you, so even if you’re against arm possessions, humor me.

The argument I got from the men was this: women should not carry arms because they can’t use them and it will only put them in more danger. Now I understand if this argument was a general one about the notion of guns and whether they are effective self-defense tools or not.

But it wasn’t, no. This was about women not being able to handle a gun, not normal citizens, women.

I was obviously intrigued.

I kept probing and the answer was laid out; “women are emotionally and physically weaker and they will only panic when attacked and will not be able to handle themselves well or handle the gun right.”

My face went flaming red.

I understand that women are physically weaker, but have I just heard someone saying we’re emotionally weaker and can’t handle stressful situations?

I started recounting something that happened to me on my way back from work right after January 25^th where I was intersected by a truck and two microbuses. I didn’t panic, I didn’t feel weak and helpless, much like any other human being, my instinct kicked in. I managed to back the car up in the little space I had and ran for it. It didn’t take much thinking or strength for that matter, it is human nature, you’re in danger, your adrenaline kicks in and you act.

Now setting aside the fact that we’re all humans and can be weak or strong depending on so many factors other than our sex, I do, in all honesty, believe women tend to be stronger than men. I also believe we’re much more in control of our nerves and emotions than men are.

If a man is reading this, hear me out before you curse and shut the laptop off.

How many women have you seen lose their temper and get into a physical fight with someone? Yes, it happens, but not nearly as often as it happens with men. We don’t lose our temper and get physical, we plot and plan for the perfect revenge in the perfect moment. Men, on the other hand, cannot hold their horses, they often lose their temper, shout, say things they don’t mean or get physical. How many women have you seen acting on their anger at work, for instance, compared to men?

Of course some women do all of that, but if we’re talking possibilities, men are far more possible to lose temper and control than women are.

Yes, we do cry, but that’s just because we aren’t afraid to do so and we are in touch with our feelings whereas men tend to bottle everything up. It isn’t that they’re stronger, it is that they’ve been accustomed not to cry whereas women were not. Does that mean that situations affect them less? No, it just means they don’t show that sign of grief, instead, they tend to get angry or irritated. But many men also cry, so please do not take our crying as a sign of weakness and I hope I don’t have to explain why.

Let’s talk about the stress aspect; now women face the same stresses as men, but we come home and look after our kids and husbands and cook and clean and be there for our friends. Men, however, tend to come home after a stressful day not even having the energy or power to play with their kids or hear about our problems. Wives and mothers will lend an ear and sympathize, no matter how stressed or overloaded they are. Can we say the same for men?

After my initial anger has passed, a worse truth hit me; many women do believe so themselves. The problem isn’t that we, women, can’t handle stressful situations and tend to panic because we’re weak, it is that society has raised us to think we can’t. Society has led us to believe we’re weaker and that men are stronger and more capable, so much so that we actually started acting like we are, in fact, weaker. But deep inside of me, I believe that when duty calls, when emergency arises, women’s strength will take over, no matter how little she believes in herself.