It is beyond draining and emotionally exhausting to always feel and hear others say they are “surviving” or “getting by” rather than really enjoying their lives. As we juggle between work, home, relationships, family issues and our non-stop mental conversations with our own selves, how do we expect to actually be “living” right? Well, I think I’ve decided to slap myself a few times on that face that is becoming too pale and worn out due to such self-destructive modes and look at the real picture for a change.

You won’t necessarily like where I’ll be going with this but maybe in a moment of truth with yourself, you might agree or get what I’m trying to say.

YOU are creating your circle of misery, drama, anger, frustration, discomfort, …etc. YOU are also creating your circle of happiness, joy, peace of mind, wellness, positivity, …etc.

Lately I’ve been interested in the approach that The Three Principles is taking; if I were to summarise it simply, I would say that the default in every human being is a state of well-being that is either masked or brought to life by our very own thoughts that we create. We grow up and learn to complicate things, one day at a time, and we convince ourselves that this is what life does to us and that’s just “reality.”

I will never forget how back in university my friends would keep telling me that I always seem to be living in a bubble, and how they’re always wondering how they never see me angry or upset. “How could you always be that hyper and bubbly? ” they would keep asking me. By time, I thought that I do indeed need to be more “grounded” and maybe start rooting myself back to earth and feel its mess, thinking that I had been living in denial and oblivious to everything around me.

It turns out I was just fine and in fact, healthier than I ever feel now. Why? Because I never used to dwell on anything. I would just acknowledge how I feel, know where that feeling is coming from, and just let it be. But now, I take a thought, add more and more to it what with assumptions, analysis, taking opinions, writing it all down on paper with pros and cons, think about its different scenarios, and turn it from one incident into a snowball of too many things that I can never keep track of anymore. I never sat with myself to think about any of it in this way but now, after having a few talks and being part of a few sessions of the Three Principles, I can somehow put it in words.

We have two paths to take in this life we’ve become part of:

Path One: We give in and give excuses to how we feel and act as we refer to our actions and emotions as reactions to surroundings and events we are not in control of. Where we would then find ourselves drowning in one “unfortunate” event after the other, feeling helpless as we allow it all to turn what we experience as survival.

Path Two: Own up to what WE are doing to ourselves, and realise that it’s all up to us; to notice everything and awaken our minds to the truth that is only up to us to see. We stop, breathe, be honest with ourselves, and tune-in to our very own systems and make way for that healthy base to find its way out of the piles of destructive thoughts we allow ourselves to get lost in.

In a nutshell, if you are feeling miserable, stressed, exhausted, worn out, then try to think about what you are telling yourself, in your own mind, to end up feeling this way. Maybe then you will start appreciating life and allow yourself to actually live it rather than get consumed in your own created dilemmas that lead you to just “get by and survive.”

I guess we need to start transcending all those layers of mental complications we suck ourselves into so we’d set free that state of well-being that we keep burying with excessive and unnecessary thoughts. We are not a result of surroundings; no, we are a result of our own minds, thoughts, and consciousness. It is up to us to live or to survive; your own life is what you make out of it.

I’m learning to turn my attention inward, to really listen to what I keep telling myself and to simply slow down and breathe it all in. I don’t want to feel that I’m in constant competition with myself and the world I’m in, but rather that I’m in tune with what’s good for me and what my system would rather be consumed in. I’m learning to trust my inner self and that gut feeling and re-assure myself that I am ok, despite what seems to be flying around and to my face all day long.

To sum it all up, I would like to share a quote from one of Elese Coit blogs:

“Over the last few years I’ve learned enough about how the mind works to know that you cannot solve problems by getting busier, speeding up, forcing things or taking on more. The only way to know yourself, to know your own mind, and therefore to really hear what you want, what you’d love and what you think would be wonderful — you must listen.”