Dear daughters,

You are still only one year old, so I know this is rather way too early and that we should cross every bridge when we get to it and all.

But just so I do not flip out, please know this one simple fact and know it well so we can all get along:

You are not princesses.

No matter how many people call you princesses, no matter how often the cartoon tells you so and no matter how many princess costumes are out there: You are not princesses.

You are not princesses and good god I pray you never hope to be.

You can be whatever you wish to be. Honestly, you can become warrior queens in exotic lands if you wish it. You can even join the circus and tour the world as a lion tamer, but please, oh please do not aspire to be princesses.

Now a little lesson in monarchy; princesses are either born in royalty or they marry royalty. That means that to become a princess you don’t have to do much at all; you are either born one or you find a prince and become one.

Being a princess is not an accomplishment in and by itself, it is not something to be proud of, it is not something to aspire to.

You would have absolutely no hand in being princesses; so why should you hope for a title you never earned?

I understand it sounds nice, I understand the appeal of having a tiara on your head and being called your royal highness. I understand all the princesses in the cartoons look gorgeous; I would give up a whole lot for Jasmine’s hair and a lot more for Snow White’s button nose.

But I also know the satisfaction of putting so much effort to achieve something and then finally earning it because of your hard work, and not because you found the right guy or were born to the right parents.

Now let’s compromise; how about you aim to become presidents instead?

People will still give you rather nice titles, you will still have an impressive wardrobe to choose from and you will live in a nice palace. You won’t have a tiara, granted, but you would at least be wishing for a title you can actually work for and achieve.

More importantly, you would actually have work to do that would change other people’s lives, you know, other than looking pretty in your gowns and strutting a tiara around a palace.

I know actual princesses have far more work to do than strutting their jewelry, but the princesses our daughters aspire to become are nowhere near as productive.

The princesses our daughters aspire to become have little more to do than being born in privilege and looking pretty. Even worse, the princesses, we make our daughters aspire to become are on the look out for a prince charming who would make her royalty.

I am sure we don’t think much of it when we call our daughters princesses; but we are indirectly giving them the messages that if they aren’t born in privilege then they should become gold—or royalty—diggers.

We are also insinuating that the highest goal they should aim at is to wear pretty dresses and tiaras and brush their long hair waiting for prince charming.

How about we call them champs? How about we call them doctors? How about we actually call them nothing but their names until they develop their own identities and goals?

So dear Zouzou and Tattou, I am happy to let you know; you two are not princesses. But rest assured; you are loads of other things!