I loved my husband the most when he held my hair back as I puked my guts out and washed my face when I smelled a nice combination of vomit and burn ointment.

Not exactly romantic, eh?

But it’s true.

It’s easy to love your partner when they’re all smiles, good-smelling, all washed and dressed up. But you’ll never know how much someone loves you until they hold your hair back when you’re in your grossest modes.

I knew my mother would always be there for me, and she always is,bless her, even when I am cranky and obnoxious she would give anything to make me feel slightly better. But I never truly realized how caring my partner was until a week ago.

I had food poisoning that gave me fever, a diarrhea and vomit on the very next morning I gave my hand a second degree burn that looked so icky I almost passed out at the sight of it. Fast forward four days later, I am at the hospital getting my blister popped, I haven’t bathed in four days, my clothes stink with burn ointment and my face has deep, dark circles and sunken cheeks.

My husband? He’s right there holding my hand and trying not to faint as the nurse cuts the wound open to reveal an even nastier sight.

He’s not exactly the grand-gesture type of guy, he never got on one knee and popped the question in a gushy romantic setting, he is not exactly into surprises and all the works and he’s not  a big talker either. But as I was laying in bed with excruciating pains, I thanked heavens for the most gentle man on the face of earth—it’s irrelevant that it only shows most when am gross and sick.

So back to icky me. It’s been five days now since I burnt my hand. I can’t do most house chores, can’t cut up my food and couldn’t really put on my socks and shoes. But without my even having to ask, my husband has been there doing almost anything for me. As cheesy as it sounds, he’s literally been my left hand. I know he’s grossed out—he’s very iffy in general—but that didn’t stop him from helping dressing my wound.

It’s easy to plan a birthday, it’s easy to be all romantic and gushy, after all, your partner will probably  be all washed up and dressed to the nines when she shows up and it will make it all worth it.

But to me, the true companionship that is love and marriage shows up the most when it’s hard to be there and it’s hard to love your partner, but you do it anyway. When you’re stuck in a room and can’t go anywhere or enjoy a sunny day because your partner is sick but you gladly stay because she might need a glass of water.

I’d pick helping me put on my shoes over a romantic dinner for two at any given time.