We had asked our witty writer Ali El Zoghby for articles that reflect males’ perspectives about relationships and women — something we rarely get to hear about given how our men prefer taking the vow of silence over speaking about feelings and thoughts.

His first entry shed light on something we never really paid much attention to; women degrading themselves by imitating some of men’s more primate actions.

His entry stirred up a whole lot of debate and our readers contributed with some very insightful comments —comments that actually inspired me to write this entry.

This, Zoghby, is why women are not as feminine and glamorous as they used to be in the good old days.

1. It is very hard to act and talk like a proper lady when you’re constantly being harassed in the streets for walking like one, something our reader Noha Nabil pointed out.
2. It is even harder to dress and talk like a lady when your colleagues do not see you as a fellow human being but rather as a sex object.  You are just pushed into acting like one of them so they can look at you as one of them.
3. When you have to work from 9am to 5pm and then come home do the cooking, wash the dishes, run after the kids and then put them to bed, it is a tad bit too much to expect us to not break down, shout from the top of our lungs and even throw some manly curses in the mix.
4. When men expect you to drive yourself to dates, and maybe even pick them up too, go to the mechanic on your own, because you’re a modern-day woman and are expected to do so, and provide for yourself, then all ladylike cells in you begin to die one after the other and you give in to the strength you need to carry that load.
5. Women need men to make them feel alright and safe to show their weaker and more vulnerable side. When men start telling women that they’re sick of her tears and accuse her of using her tears to emotionally-blackmail them, she might just find it a little hard to show that side ever again.
6. Speaking of vulnerability, it is also hard for women to be feminine, soft and lady-like when men abuse that. If our men start seeing women’s softer side as weakness and start seeing in that an opportunity to fulfill dreams of control and possession, women are forced into a role they shouldn’t really assume. Mind you, most women do not really like taking on the men’s role but are forced to do so because being the soft-spoken, delicate lady hasn’t really achieved much for her.
7. As another reader, Shaza Mahmoud, pointed out, when men started acting like women and stopped, well, manning up, women were forced to act more manly. When men start whining when life throws in little pickles at them and quickly throw in the towel, women automatically get into the provider and protector mode. We are wired that way, if nobody is there to pick the slack, we will, so in a way, we tend to take over and, well, assume the male role of the relationship. This ultimately means we will act and talk like one too.

To sum it up, we do not act, speak, or look like ladies once have, simply because we have taken the wrong end of the feminism stick. We have conquered the workplace alright, but haven’t changed our dear Middle Eastern men’s perception of women. We have a say in politics and society, but couldn’t convince fellow revolutionaries to look at us as sisters in combat and not sex objects they feel the need to harass.

We have demanded equality in relationships and life, yet we ended up leading the life of a 21^st century’s modern lady and that of the medieval one too.

Yes, we are working and we are integrated in society, but we come back home to assume all the roles ladies have half a century ago. The only difference is, while they had 24 hours of the day to assume all ladylike roles, we only get whatever is left of our day, after deducting working hours and traffic, to do that.

So forgive us if after society throws at us the weight of sharing living expenses, raising the kids, pampering our husbands, cleaning and doing the dishes, as well as be revolutionaries every now and then — all the while being subjected to chauvinistic and patriarchal values — we do not really feel like maintaining ladylike attitudes.