“Why are you so cranky?” So he goes on and on about the bad day he’s had what with some issues at work, curfew limitations, workout obstacles and his pitch finally goes higher when he mentioned that his sister’s car needs maintenance. That’s when I asked him “why is this bothering you so much? It’s her car not yours” and here’s how the dialogue developed:

Him: She comes back home and tells me her car stopped on the Sixth of October bridge and instead of calling me so I can simply send a car to tow it, she asked for help in the street and obviously all those men decided to volunteer with wrong  tips on what needs to be fixed.

Me: Again, why is that pissing you off that much? She was stuck in the street and needed help; obviously, she can’t fix her own car. No woman I know can do that.

Him: She doesn’t even know what went wrong with it! And when I asked her a simple question about what the RPM read at the time, she said I don’t know! How could she not know?

Me: How is she supposed to know what the RPM read or what it even is?! What is an RPM to begin with? Where is it?!

Him: Hadeel! It’s an RPM! It’s there for a reason and when something goes wrong with the car, it’s normal to look at your dashboard to observe what the issue might be.

That’s when my pitch got higher because I was bewildered at the fact that somehow, women are expected to also understand car language — add that to the billion other things we’re expected to know and be good at. That was a conversation I had this morning with a work colleague.

It’s simple, there are some things that we do not understand and do not even want to bother about; those are the same things we would very much expect men to deal with and handle without acting cranky that they’re “stuck with them.” A flat tire, a dead car battery and whatever else can go wrong with it are some of those things; yes, I can only name two issues of hundreds that could go wrong with a car, I am a woman and that’s my excuse.

I like being a woman, that doesn’t automatically mean that I’m only interested in fashion, beauty and gossip. I am a woman who loves my sense of femininity and who enjoys a balanced lifestyle that allows me to act like the lady I would like to be but without being a nagging helpless brat. I can handle a tough situation even if it means I’m stranded on an island on my own with no cell reception, no food and no fellow human in sight. I will not fear the streets until a man can accompany me as a shield fighting constant sexual harassment. I will not call a man friend or my partner in panic when I have to take someone to the hospital, I will call him for moral and emotional support and hope he could be there to hug and hold me when I break down. I will do all that and more but I will not open my car hood to examine what could’ve possibly went wrong there and I will certainly not fix my flat tire.

I will not take the time to understand what all the different things on that dashboard mean and what the signals could be telling me; I will ask for help for this one whether from my partner, man friend or from a complete stranger on the street if it feels safe at the time. I could try to understand it if I put the time into it, but I choose not to simply because I would like to need a man for that.

When I make a decision to buy a car, this is what I look for:

• Automatic
• Color
• If it’s a 4×4
• How fabulously ‘raw’ it looks
• Stability when I speed
• How it would feel to drive

Again, it’s quite simple, a car to me should make me feel good driving it and is a lovely looking vehicle that takes me from point A to point B.

It’s not an argument about gender roles, it’s more of an understanding of how I, as an individual, would like certain things in my life to go. I might not classify as a feminist in your books, and frankly, it’s not the label I’m concerned about; it’s more of a lifestyle that I know fits my character and makes me happy in my friendships and relationships.

I don’t think you should start a fight with your sister, mother, partner or friend when you find that she feels lost and not able to understand technicalities of what had gone wrong with her car, just like I am very certain you would not like her to start a fight with you when she finds that you don’t know which specific detergent can get rid of that stubborn stain on your shirt. Don’t throw a fit when she asks for your help with that sink just as much as you wouldn’t want her to throw a fit when you get the wrong kind of face cream for her specific skin tone.

And please, please, please, do not scream out “ugh, you’re a typical girl” or “you’re one of those girls” just because I don’t understand what went wrong with my car’s filter, hood, trunk or whatever else is there.

Many women like to feel that they enjoy ‘needing’ their partners at certain situations and I promise you, we like to feel needed at certain situations too. It creates a nice balance.