Ali el Zoghby’s article: Women, Why are you Degrading your own Gender? caused quite a stir among us ladies. Many agreed with him and others, such as myself, nodded but added some side-notes. The truth is that both men and women have changed, their roles, their views and their behavior. In this little piece of mine, I would like to shed some light on this ‘odd’ behavior we encounter today, so bear with me please…

The other day, I was reading an article about one of history’s strongest women, Egypt’s own Cleopatra. The article discussed the portrayal of Egypt’s Empress in literature, art and film and emphasized a very important point: all her successes were to be ascribed to her physical attributes and sexual cunning. Forget that she was extremely smart, spoke seven languages and led in global diplomacy; she was purely a temptress, a woman who seduced those around her into letting her have her way.  The male-dominated media preferred to underline her sexuality rather than her intelligence, for it could’ve only been due to male sexual weakness that she managed to achieve such power and territory.

Not only is this reductive, but also insulting. Regrettably, these ideas or views continue to be a trend among those who comment on women who, depending on their social background or circumstances, reach ‘’too’’ far.  Now you tell me, is it strange that women today have a tendency to cover up their femininity so as to avoid such opinions of their success or life-style?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not an advocate of women losing their inherent attributes at all, but it is a fact that till today women are not considered intellectually equals to men in the professional, social or private sectors of life.  If a woman, therefore, is less soft in her approach than is usually expected of her gender, don’t be surprised; she has sort of been forced to act that way.

The problem is that women have been behaving like this for so long and to such extremes that it has also affected their male counter-parts.  Nick and Schmidt from New Girl may be fictional characters, but we all know guys who are still deciding what it is they want from life at 32 ‘a la Nick, or only realize what they’ve got till it’s gone like Schmidt. Society has made it acceptable for men to be more melodramatic and less masculine; it is a clear cause and effect phenomenon:  if women have become less ‘’female’’, then men have also become less ‘’male.’’

Men have slowly let go of the values taught to them as children, namely: to protect, to provide and to be pro-active. My friends laugh at me when I say this, but I believe many (of course not all, but many)   to be suffering from a ‘’Peter Pan complex’, a state of mind that allows them to stay in Never Neverland longer and beyond they’re supposed to. They, hence, become indecisive, distracted and forget the importance of chivalry. When was the last time a gentleman anticipated your every move making you feel like a real lady? Today, it is almost a miracle if a man opens a door for you or pours water in your glass during dinner. The excuse I always hear is: ‘’well, you wanted to be treated as an equal!’’ Yes, I want to be your mental equal, but I am still a woman and you are still a man.

Here is where the lines got blurred; both sexes have forgotten who they essentially are and how they should behave and the only way to remedy this is to recognize the fact that you can still stay true to your qualities, without risking the loss of your stance and reputation. We ladies have to realize that we can still come across as independent and intelligent without losing that which makes us the enticing creatures that God has created. Society should believe that women can indeed come far without using their bodies. Men have to go back to being the brave individuals they are intended to be; they must also understand that we still need them, for no matter how successful or powerful we may be, we always want a strong, decisive man who can slowly take down the walls we built up around us and show us that he is more than capable to take on any obstacle together.