I promised zoodles and zoodles I shall deliver. Also, a bolognese recipe. Because zucchini noodles are nothing more than sliced zucchini steamed or blanched. I hope I’m getting a lot of virtual hugs right now.

I’ve actually never liked pasta. Especially of the doused in creamy white sauce variety. The only pasta I liked was swimming in thick meat sauce. Bolognese, lasagna and my mother’s bechamel bake were winners. But really, hearty meat sauces leave little room for the taste of pasta to shine through, which is why they lend themselves beautifully to the bland, sorry again, zucchini.

Now before I begin, let me get this out of the way. There is no one right way to make a bolognese sauce. Every Italian nonna has her way just like every Egyptian mother has her way of making dolma. I am not Italian. This is just the way I like my sauce. It’s thick and hearty and tangy and sweet and savory with a little warm underbelly from nutmeg, cinnamon and bay. Having said that, it’s meat in tomato sauce, it’s going to be good, unless your cat falls into it or something. What’s important beyond anything is patience and salting at every stage. Salt your onions, salt your meat, salt your tomatoes. Don’t go hog wild, a sprinkle or two will do.

As for the zoodles, you’re going to need to slice them lengthways into thin strips. Then you’ll decide the width of your “noodles.” Wide pappardelle, medium tagliatelle, thin linguini? I went for the tagliatelle version here, but you are the boss of your noodle. Just don’t go too thin or they’ll disintegrate as they steam. If you have a julienne peeler, I am jealous and I wouldn’t tell me about it if you don’t want it stolen from you. If you have a mandolin, which I do, use that. Otherwise, use a potato peeler and do it manually. I’m sorry.

Zoodles 
Serves 4

4 large zucchinis
Salt, to taste

1. Slice your zucchini to your liking. Place them in a stainless steel colander.
2. Set a pot of water that just fits the colander on the stove and fill with about two inches of water, making sure the water would not reach the colander.
3. Once the water boils, pop the zucchini-filled colander on top and close with the lid of the pot. Let it sit for two minutes and remove from the heat and uncover. Check for doneness. They should be pliable like pasta but not complete mush.
4. Sprinkle with salt and let stand.

Bolognese Sauce

Serves 4

1 tablespoon olive oil or healthy fat of choice
1 large onion, finely diced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 medium carrot, finely diced
1 celery stalk, finely diced
500g or 1lb of lean ground beef
1 tbs white balsamic vinegar, or vinegar of choice
750g ripe tomatoes, pureed in the blender with 1 cup water
2 tbs tomato paste
3 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried thyme
2 tsp dried rosemary
2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1 bay leaf
A pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
Salt and pepper to taste

1. In a large, heavy-bottomed pot on low heat, slowly sweat the onions, garlic, carrots and celery with a pinch of salt until softened.
2. Add in the ground beef and turn up the heat. Cook until brown and the water has evaporated. You should see bits of brown on the bottom of the pot. Brown bits are good. Brown bits are flavor. Love the brown bits.
3. Once your meat is brown, NOT JUST GRAY, deglaze the pan with the vinegar.
4. Scrape the brown bits of flavor lovin’ off the pan and then add your pureed tomatoes. Add all your spices and go ahead and add another sprinkle of salt and a few twists of fresh cracked pepper.
5. Let it come to a boil then turn the heat down and simmer for at least half an hour. If the water level drops, add a touch more. You want the tomatoes to cook down so there isn’t visible liquid, just a thick hearty sauce.
6. Adjust for salt and pepper, see if you want to add a few more dried herbs or fresh ones (some fresh basil might be nice now). Serve over zoodles.